For: violinsweetie
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"1, 2, 3... okay, that's a wrap for today! Good work everyone!"

Kim Li-Na was one of Korea's top trapeze artists; she was the leading lady of Firebird Acrobatics and was very well-known throughout the country. She was always focused 120% when she practiced for a show or even performed...
RING! "Hello?" But there was one exception... "Yunho! What's up?"

Jung Yunho and Li-Na had been close friends for a long while, having taken dance classes together since they were young. And as the years went by, Li-Na began to notice that her feelings for him had grown from nothing but friends to a sincere crush; it was hard for her to control her feelings, but she tried hard to keep it together. It'd already been 3 years since she'd been holding back on her crush for Yunho. She told herself she would continue keep her focus on work since she knew he did not hold the same feelings for her. Besides, he was too busy doing other things, like being TVXQ's leader, so even if they were to be "together," he wouldn't have any time for her. And now that Yunho was a big rising star all over Asia,  his schedule got busier and busier, which would mean more listening to him talk about his upcoming work whenever he started something new, like his casting for an upcoming drama, one which he was going to be spending lots of time with the oh-so-gorgeous Go Ara.

Li-Na couldn't deny that she was jealous of the fact that Go Ara was constantly going to be shooting scenes with Yunho, but she knew she had no choice but to let it go and congratulate him. His voice was filled with joy when he was on the phone with her, and she couldn't just shoot him down just because she was torn apart from the news. Who was she to judge him anyway?

Though Li-Na was not the type to let anything throw her off guard, this news about Yunho being around with another girl certainly was one big deal that she could not concentrate on her own performances. Because she was so heavily impacted by it all as the drama progressed, it was all she could really think about, and that was the very last thing she thought about before she fell to her death after missing the trapeze when doing her maneuver at her live show, Romeo and Juliet. Everyone there, especially her partner, was shocked by the sight for she had fallen from many feet above after the faulty safety set was not able to hold her up.

The news about Li-Na's death soon spread and that was when Yunho had heard about it; he couldn't believe it, no, he didn't want to believe it. He knew how much performing was important to her and also knew that she allowed nothing to distract her, but this tragedy had happened. He had heard from the members of the acrobatics that she seemed tense during practice, and it probably was one cause of her death. Li-Na always pulled herself together even in the toughest of times, but what was it that made her this way?

After attending the funeral, Yunho was told that Li-Na's things were going to be taken out of her apartment by her family, so he decided to help out, wanting to get a chance to say his last goodbye. He looked around her room, recollecting all the memories he had had with her. Then, examining her desk, Yunho found what seemed to look like a journal that he remembered she always had with her wherever she went; he knew she would have chopped him up into pieces if she figured out he looked inside of it, but he was so curious to what she actually wrote inside of it. And boy, was he in for a surprise...

The moment Yunho opened the diary, he saw that she was writing letters to...him; it had content about what they did whenever they talked or hung out as well as her true feelings about everything, from her crush on him to how she felt about him filming the drama with Go Ara. It was quite a shock since it was so unexpected, and he began to tear up  as he hated himself for not knowing this earlier.

"It's all my fault," he told himself, and he couldn't and didn't want to forgive himself for what had happened to her ever...

Then a year passed....

Even after a year, Yunho was still blaming himself for Li-Na's death. The thoughts just kept roaming through his head, and they just wouldn't leave. His fellow TVXQ members were worried about him because he was not himself anymore. They knew he was still having a hard time letting Li-Na go, and were even more worried  that he was holding all his true emotions in, not wanting to be a burden to the other 4 or their fans. It was as if nothing was going on, even though it was hurting him on the inside.

Then one day, after promotions were over, all 5 members were given a break from their schedules so they could get some rest. While the other members went out of the dorm to roam as they please, Yunho decided to stay back in the dorm to get the sleep he was unable to get during his busy schedule. But his sleep was cut short when he heard a loud noise coming from outside the room. He slowly walked out, still exhausted, and he heard humming from the kitchen. And when he got closer, he was surprised to see a female figure in front of him!

Shocked but tired, Yunho was unable to make a sound, and the person in front of him turned before he could do or say anything. But the face he saw was the last face he expected to see. It was Li-Na. Yunho rubbed his eyes a few times, thinking he was seeing images, but Li-Na was still there smiling at the now more pale Yunho as if nothing was wrong.

"You awake?" Li-Na asked as she approached him to touch his forehead. "How's your fever?"

Fever? What fever? Confused, Yunho tried to process what was going on, and he remembered that just a couple months before Li-Na died, he was struck with pneumonia and a high fever. It was all thanks to Li-Na that he was able to get better since she was the one taking care of him all throughout his sickness.

But wait, does this mean he went back in time? That was basically the only explanation he had to why Li-Na was standing before him at that very moment, and this meant that he was now able to start over and prevent her from ever going through what he made her go through the first time. He only had a couple months to make everything better or he would have to consequently lose her again; he wasn't going to allow that to happen a second time.

After a while under Li-Na's care, Yunho felt better (again), and he was ready to go on set for his drama. But as he was getting dressed to leave, he had a a sense that he'd gone through this moment before....he had; it hit him right in the face. He remembered that he did the same exact thing when he got better the first time; he left Li-Na in the dorm alone the moment he felt better, even after she asked him to stay back with her just for the day. Thinking back, he didn't feel comfortable leaving because he couldn't bare to see that disappointed look on her face again.

When Yunho took a peek outside to the living room, Li-Na was not where he expected her to be. From what he remembered, she was supposed to be sitting on the couch waiting for him to get up, but she was actually in the kitchen cook food.

"What are you cooking?" he asked her.

"Oh, just a little something for you before I go."

"Go? Wait, you're leaving me here...in the dorm...alone?"

"What are you talking about? Aren't you feeling better? You should be getting ready to go back to your shoot; you were so excited to be going back anyway."

"But...but.."

"But what? All of a sudden you don't want to go? What's wrong with you? You okay?"

This was not the Li-Na he remembered.

--------Flashback:----------------


"Do you have to go? Can't you stay behind? You...need more rest."


"Sorry Li-Na. This shoot is very important; it's one of my bigger gigs. But I promise I'll make it up to you soon."


"Promise?"


"I promise. I'll call you later tonight, okay?"


-------End of flashback-----------


Yunho never gave anything back to her; he didn't make it up to her, and he broke his promise. He couldn't believe how selfish and ignorant he was, but along with that, he couldn't believe Li-Na's completely different attitude. He now, in a way, understood how she would've felt when he responded to her in a way she didn't expect him to; he was not happy at all by Li-Na's response to him leaving. Yunho watched Li-Na as she pushed him out the door, forcing him to leave so he wouldn't be late, and off he went for his drama for the rest of the day.

Arriving at the dorm after his schedules were over, Yunho was extremely exhausted. Though he had already gone through this before (having gone back in time and all), he was as tired as ever. But this was a time to complaining when there were bigger problems going through his mind: Li-Na. He was still confused about the fact that she was so nonchalant about everything as if she really didn't care; she acted a little TOO chill for his liking. He was so iffy about what happened that morning that he immediately called Li-Na to see if he could figure out what was going on with her.

She was bound to pick up the phone because she always did...

she always did...

"...she always did," Yunho said to himself and closed his phone.

Li-Na did so much for Yunho, but all he did was turn her down; he had been such a bad friend to her all along and didn't realize this until now. Was he using her as his safety place when he felt like there was nobody ealse to turn to? Because she always was there to listen? Was that really it or...? He was so unsure about his feelings toward her at this point. How did he truly feel about her?

"Hey Changmin," Yunho said as he heard the younger member enter their room, "what would it mean if you were to keep thinking about a certain person, and... there would be that feeling of emptiness when she were to tell you to go when you wanted to stay. Yunho did not realize what he was saying as he was saying them aloud; all he could really think about was what Li-Na told him earlier before she forced him out of the dorm.

"Hyung, I don't understand what you're saying. What do you mean go? Go where?"

"Huh? What do you mean go?"

"You just said that. Is there someone you keep thinking about? If there is, doesn't that mean you like that person? Who is it? Someone I know???"

"Oh...is that what it is? Ah... I'm tired. You should go to bed. Good night!" And Yunho tucked himself in, facing the wall as Changmin stared at the leader with confusion. Yunho didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Changmin, so he decided it would be best to just cut the conversation short by pretending to go to bed early.

"Whatever hyung," Changmin replied with a tired voice after giving up on getting an explanation from Yunho, then he went to bed as well.

Though Yunho almost gave himself away, he was glad to have had that conversation with Changmin. Maybe he really did like Li-Na, he thought as he slowly fell asleep. In order to fully understand what his feelings were, he decided to give it some time and, most importantly, spend more time with her. But every time he tried to spend some quality time with her, it would seem as if she wanted to distance herself from him; she just wanted him to leave to go to his next schedule.

Li-Na's sudden change in behavior not only was a huge disappointment to Yunho, it soon built up his frustration toward her that he exploded. He called Li-Na over to the dorm when the other TVXQ members weren't around, and the moment she asked why he was so tense, he started his ramble. But what he didn't know was that he had news coming his way as well.

"I don't get it. One moment you're like this and the next time I see you, you act like a totally different person. What do you want me to do?!"

"What are you talking about? Are you okay, Yunho?"

"I'm okay, are you? Why are you like this? You're confusing me!"

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sor..."

"Don't apologize," Yunho replied with a sigh as he saw Li-Na look at him as if she had committed a crime, "it's not your fault. It's just that...Li-Na, you have to tell me the truth.."

"About what?"

"D..d..do you...like me?"

And without hesitation, Li-Na replied, "Of course I do! Is that even a question? You're my best friend."

"No. Li-Na, I.."

"Yunho," Li-Na interrupted. She knew exactly what he was going to say and knew that she shouldn't allow this situation to go any further. "I have to tell you something. You probably won't believe me, but this is all a dream, and you're going to be waking up from all this real soon."

"What? You're joking, right?"

"Yunho. How could I even be here? I died, remember? I know it all sounds crazy, but everything I'm telling you is true. I know you saw my journal, and you've been pushing yourself down for too long. You have to stop doing this to yourself and continue to fulfill your dreams; move on with your life, and stop thinking it's your fault because it's not."

"But it is my fault. If I knew, you wouldn't be like this."

"Stop it! It's not your fault! I'm happy here. Isn't that all that matters? I shouldn't have allowed myself to let some drama affect me this way, but it did. And now it's over, so for me, just move on and be happy for yourself. That's what's best for the both of us. Besides, you can never get rid of me because I'll be watching your every move; I'll always be by your side no matter what. Just promise me you'll be happy."

"Li-Na.."

"Just promise me this one thing.."

"Okay, I promise."

"Like I said, it's not your fault; it was just my time to go. I'm happy, so you should be too. Be..oh! It's time for me to go now. There are people who need me more than I do right now, and they are waiting for you at this very moment. You should get back to them.. Yunho, I'll really miss you. Good bye..."

"Where are you going? Li-Na!!" Yunho yelled as he watched her turn her back towards him and faded away.
--------------------------------

"Li-Na...Li-Na.."

"Hyung, are you okay? You awake?"

Yunho slowly opened his eyes and saw his members staring down at him as if they'd seen a ghost, but he was the one seeing ghosts. They were all so pale as if they hadn't rested in days. He finally looked around at his environment and realized that he was inside a hospital room.

"What am I doing here?" Yunho asked, confused.

"You don't remember?! You  fainted in the living room! I told you..."

"Jaejoong hyung, calm down. He needs peace and quiet. Yunho hyung, we found you fainted in the dorm so we took you here. You've been unconscious for a couple days already. What happened?"

"How many times do I have to tell you to take care of yourself, Yunho?!"

"Hyung,...let's just let him rest," Changmin said then turned to Yunho. "We'll be outside, so call us if you need anything."

As Yunho saw the other members leave the room, he felt tears forming. It was really all a dream, and Li-Na was really not going to come back into his life. At the thought of this, he couldn't help but miss her even more, but he was not going to sulk around any longer. He promised her that he was going to be happy, and he didn't want to break a promise with her again. If him moving on was going to make her feel at peace, then he was going to do just that for her. Anything for Li-Na.

Yunho wiped away his tears and toughened up as he promised himself he would live on with his life with an optimistic attitude and live the rest of his life the way Li-Na would want him to. He was going to live life to his fullest until the day he would reunite with Li-Na...

In Heaven.